aRe tHe bEst tHinGs in NiGeRia tRuLLy fRee?

They say the best things in Life are free! Being a Nigerian does bring a certain level of complexity to that statement. Coming from a Nation where everything is generally designed to keep the strong in power, the rich, richer and the poor, even poorer; it is hard to accept that statement. I stopped having blind optimism about our hopes on becoming a developed country, though this doesn't mean i stopped being patriotic. Why? well as long as i am not in the sphere of the powerful leaders yet and cannot even get a glimpse of their activities, i cannot continue to believe in the good will they so proclaim.

I have come to learn that nothing happens by accident in this country. Like the former CBN governor Malam Sanusi once said the issue of vested interests is our biggest challenge yet, but is it really not a problem even in the developed world? I tweeted yesterday that everything in life revolves around relationships, so at the end of the day words like 'Merit' are hardly in our vocabulary as a nation. As i have always said, nobody owes any one anything in this life not your parents (save for caring for you in your formative years and providing a good education), not your government (that is if it is not clear to you already that majority of the officials in our polity are not there for any one but themselves). 

In a country where the average Nigerian generates his own power, provides his own security, provides his own jobs, there is hardly ever any need for dependence on the government. But then again it is so hard to make any grand nationwide impact as a citizen without being in the above mentioned sphere.

I also understand that as a Leader it is hard to please everyone, but there will forever remain that middle ground of performance acceptance that both the governed and the government can agree on. I also think its only human nature to pick people or individuals you have established a relationship with over individuals on merit. That relationship is what creates that edge over people who truly deserve that job or position. We need to accept the fact that we are a peculiar Nation and those peculiarities need to be adapted to by any one willing to make a difference. So my advice to those looking to make any impact as far as the government is concerned is to build meaningful relationships in your chosen endeavor. Nothing good comes easy, nothing is ever free and there will always be a price to pay.

-- @gozzim

Love is not enough...

Remember that popular definition of Love that says: " Love is a feeling you feel you never felt before" ok now FORGET THAT! Yeah! you read that right. As far as the concept of marriage and relationships go, Love is never enough. It may sound like I'm about to put out a collage of psychotic ramblings but the plain truth is: genuine Love as we should know it cannot exist without a clear recognition of weaknesses in our partners- which as far as I'm concerned is the starting point of Love. 

Love alone is never enough to guarantee a happy marriage or relationship, for the sake of being crucified before i rest my 'keys', When i say Love i do not in any way refer to the God kind of Love (Agape) which is a whole new level of perfection which also only God can give, I refer to the form we share as humans & which has evolved into a diverse mix of dilution. In its purest form Love can only inspire a healthy level of patience and tolerance & affection that becomes happiness over a period and subsequently bliss. As far as i can tell any one who writes about Love being the only requirement for bliss is a scam artist.

I rarely write about subjects like this but from my experience in relationships it all starts with certain attributes, or characteristics which can be experienced at face value, and then moves on to who we are essentially, it is by understanding what our strengths and weaknesses are we can then embark on that journey called Love which by the way is not a destination. There is no such thing as Love at first sight. The former concept is at best a heightened sense of attraction which could evolve into the real form of Love. I can only love you if I can live with and be happy with helping you over come your weaknesses. Its not just about the good looks, the fabulous boobs and ass its a lot more of the internal mixed with a little of the external.

Patience, Wisdom, Strengths, Weaknesses, Tolerance, Affection and loads of other factors are compulsory ingredients of relationship Bliss, but above all God's Grace. It is that grace that makes a man do dishes with his spouse, that makes a woman nag less, that makes a woman turn her spouse away with wisdom while he stays faithful despite.. so when i say Love is not enough, this is what i mean.

~gd 

@gozzim